the background

everything is quiet,
since you're not around
i live in the numbness now
in the background

i do the things we did before
i walk haight street to the store
and they say where's that crazy girl
you don't get drunk on red wine, and fight no more
i don't see you anymore
since the hospital

the plans i make still have you in them

'cause you come swimmin' into view
and i'm hanging on your words like i always used to do
the words they use so lightly, i only feel for you
i only know because i
carry you around
in the background
i'm in the background

words they come and memories all repeat
i lift your head while they change the hospital sheets
and i would never lie to you, no
i would never lie to you, no
i felt you long after we were through
we were through

the plans i make still have you in them

'cause you come swimming into view
and i'm hanging on your words like i always used to do,
the words we use so lightly, i only feel for you
i only know because i carry you around
in the background

'cause f felt you long after we were through

when you come swimmin' into view
and i'm hanging on your words like i always used to do
the words they use so lightly, i only feel for you
i only know because
i'm way, i'm way
in the background

i'm in the background



there's something so ultimately profound about a song that can make your skin tingle.
a song so tragic and yet it's what makes it so beautiful.

:)

http://www.q107.com/DJsandShows/DerringerInTheMorning/WomenWeLove/View.aspx?ID=133132

the words they use so lightly, i only feel for you ♥

love is...

being sick of her, yet missing her the moment she's out of sight.
waking up every morning feeling brand new.

it's when you'd rather face all of your greatest fears,
feel all the emotions you're afraid to feel.

it's when you'd be perfectly content if it was just you and her.

it's when you're constantly terrified she could leave you,
but you trust her enough and believe in your love enough,
to know it'll never happen.

honest

if i've done anything wrong... if i've said something...
i just wanna know it.

i'm the furthest thing from a perfect friend or human being.

i just wanna know why i'm not good enough.

i will never be the friend who sugar coats and pretends like everything's fine.
i will never be the friend who will accept that you're 'happy' with throwing away your life.
i will never be the friend to say things behind your back that i am too coward to say to your face.
i will never lie about my feelings.

and i will never back down or quit on you.

so why is it so easy to ignore me, ditch me, forget about me?

food for thought

i don't think it takes too much effort to take 5 minutes out of your day to say 'hey, how have you been? i miss you', does it?
i understand we are 22 (generally, as this entry does not apply to just one person) now, and with that comes new responsibilities in life.
new experiences, relationships... new opportunities that come knocking at our doors.
opportunities that may take up a lot or most of our time.
i don't expect to see those i call my close friends every day, or even every week.
but a text, a message, a call to say - i've been thinking about you - goes a long way.

i miss the days when friendship was important.
when i wasn't so forgettable.

i miss feeling safe and feeling as if someone would always be there.

i just miss...

meh...

i don't really need friends anyways.

puzzle pieces

sometimes i'm not sure if there's anyone on this earth that knows how truly sad and lonely i am.

i have everything i could have ever asked for... minus just one thing.
and i'm afraid i won't ever get that back.

catch 22

fucked if i do, fucked if i don't...

well, i guess this is growing up...

you fucking suck.

the fine art of falling apart

i don't know whether to be furious or just plain sad.