11/9/13
9/1/13
empty
i'm trying really hard to concentrate on the things in my life that i am lucky to have, and that i am grateful for, rather than the fact that my dad is once again failing to acknowledge me, and that my relationship feels more like a really close friendship than anything.
7/8/13
triggers
2 new years eve's ago, i decided that there were several words that i wanted to eliminate from my vocabulary. since being in my program, i'm finding that there are more and more words that trigger me or make me feel extremely uncomfortable, so i have decided to add those to my list.
- normal (because it implies that anyone who is mentally ill, developmentally delayed, etc. is unnatural, abnormal, or that there is something "wrong" with them)
- crazy, nut-job, nut-case, insane, etc etc etc. (these words/phrases bother me immensely, and i am guilty of using the word crazy a lot, but i want to remove that from my vocabulary because it can be hurtful to the clients i am supporting, regardless of the context)
- the phrase "something wrong with him/her". again, there is nothing "wrong" with these individuals. they are simply living with an illness or disability.
- intellectual development disorder. this is apparently the new politically correct term used for individuals who have some form of developmental disability. however, i feel like that is horse shit. unless someone has an acquired brain injury, or an illness/disability that directly affects how their mind actually functions in terms of their intelligence, this term makes no sense to me. many individuals with autism, for example, are geniuses. for me, individuals with exceptionalities or developmental disabilities is more accurate because it doesn't imply stupidity or unintelligence.
at this point, these are all the terms and phrases that i can think of. however, i'm almost positive that as i continue to grow and learn, there will be more added to the list.
- normal (because it implies that anyone who is mentally ill, developmentally delayed, etc. is unnatural, abnormal, or that there is something "wrong" with them)
- crazy, nut-job, nut-case, insane, etc etc etc. (these words/phrases bother me immensely, and i am guilty of using the word crazy a lot, but i want to remove that from my vocabulary because it can be hurtful to the clients i am supporting, regardless of the context)
- the phrase "something wrong with him/her". again, there is nothing "wrong" with these individuals. they are simply living with an illness or disability.
- intellectual development disorder. this is apparently the new politically correct term used for individuals who have some form of developmental disability. however, i feel like that is horse shit. unless someone has an acquired brain injury, or an illness/disability that directly affects how their mind actually functions in terms of their intelligence, this term makes no sense to me. many individuals with autism, for example, are geniuses. for me, individuals with exceptionalities or developmental disabilities is more accurate because it doesn't imply stupidity or unintelligence.
at this point, these are all the terms and phrases that i can think of. however, i'm almost positive that as i continue to grow and learn, there will be more added to the list.
4/29/13
this is how bored i am.
are you "with" the very last person you kissed?
i am! :)
how's your hair looking?
meh... kinda straight, kinda not. it's the end of the day so it's lost it's straightness.
is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
heart/gut.
have you ever been in a car accident?
minor ones.
what is your favourite drink?
water.
this time last year, do you remember who you liked?
my incredibly handsome fiancé.
what's your favorite piercing?
that i have? my nose. in general, on anyone? i guess nose rings or tongue piercings.
think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
a lot.
what are you thinking about right now?
dirty things.
what time did you go to bed last night?
i think around midnight.
will this weekend be a good one?
well it's my last weekend before i start second semester, so i'm hoping it will be good!
is there anyone you know that deserves to get punched?
i don't really think violence solves anything, regardless of how moronic or ignorant people can be. so no.
have any new regrets this year?
ummm... not that i can think of. i try not to regret.
what did you do today in detail?
i woke up, went online/on FB for a while, made breakfast, got showered/ready, went to costco to buy groceries with my mom, went to pick up my straightener, went to shopper's to buy hair products, came home, went online some more, ate dinner, cleaned up, now i'm sitting on the computer again.
do you like anyone?
i'm madly in love with someone.
do you have a chance with them?
well i'm engaged to him, so i had better hope so :P
if you could move anywhere, where would it be?
hmm... well i'm thinking british columbia right now. or guelph, if i end up staying in ontario.
how old are your parents?
50 and 52.
what are you going to do after this?
browse facebook some more, talk to seth, go to bed.
how was your day?
relaxing, yet productive.
where are you right now, at this exact moment?
my tv room.
do you talk in your sleep?
i have before, but i don't think i have lately. you would have to ask seth.
do you like your life as of now?
i love my life as of right now!
what are you listening to?
the mummy on tv.
what happened at 9am today?
i was just getting out of bed.
what was the last thing someone bought you?
my mom bought me burrito boyz last night.
do you sleep a lot?
i sleep a normal amount?
what was the last thing you laughed really hard about?
i'm not sure.
how do you feel about your hair right now?
meh.
where's the last place you went besides your house?
shopper's drug mart.
if you were in a war, would you survive?
probably not lol.
where was your display picture taken?
at the steamwhistle brewery.
your relationship status?
engaged :)
have you ever lost a close friend?
not in terms of death, no. but otherwise, yes.
what's your mood right now?
bored, and wishing i didn't eat that klondike bar.
where do you wish you were right now?
with him.
do you have a crazy side?
everyone does!
ever had a near death experience?
ummm... no, i don't think so.
do you hate anyone?
nope.
what's stopping you from going for the person you like?
nothing, we're engaged.
when was the last time you cried?
last week.
is there anyone you would do anything for?
my mom, my grandma, my best friend, and of course seth.
who or what do you think about when you are falling asleep?
lots of things. usually very random and unimportant stuff.
who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
seth.
what is your favorite song?
hmmm, right now... "hey, ho" by the lumineers.
where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
seth gave it to me.
what colour is your cell?
white.
last thing you purchased?
shampoo, conditioner, and leave in conditioning spray.
describe your life in one word:
wonderful.
who are you thinking of right now?
him.
where did you last take a road trip to?
umm... i have no clue.
who was the last person that yelled at you?
probably my mom, but i can't remember.
what is your natural hair color?
a boring, ashy brown.
who was the last person to make you laugh?
jack haha.
who was the last person to make you sad?
myself.
is your hair curly or straight?
mostly straight.
been out of the country?
just recently, yes!
held hands with the opposite sex in the past 6 days?
nope.
do little things mean a lot to you?
very much so.
are you happy with life right now?
very!
are you currently jealous?
nope.
what jewelry are you currently wearing?
earrings, nose ring, feather necklace, engagement ring and my heart ring.
what were you doing last night?
nothing really.
have you ever broken someone's heart?
it's quite possible, but you would have to ask them.
is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
umm... perpetually, yes.
i am! :)
how's your hair looking?
meh... kinda straight, kinda not. it's the end of the day so it's lost it's straightness.
is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
heart/gut.
have you ever been in a car accident?
minor ones.
what is your favourite drink?
water.
this time last year, do you remember who you liked?
my incredibly handsome fiancé.
what's your favorite piercing?
that i have? my nose. in general, on anyone? i guess nose rings or tongue piercings.
think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
a lot.
what are you thinking about right now?
dirty things.
what time did you go to bed last night?
i think around midnight.
will this weekend be a good one?
well it's my last weekend before i start second semester, so i'm hoping it will be good!
is there anyone you know that deserves to get punched?
i don't really think violence solves anything, regardless of how moronic or ignorant people can be. so no.
have any new regrets this year?
ummm... not that i can think of. i try not to regret.
what did you do today in detail?
i woke up, went online/on FB for a while, made breakfast, got showered/ready, went to costco to buy groceries with my mom, went to pick up my straightener, went to shopper's to buy hair products, came home, went online some more, ate dinner, cleaned up, now i'm sitting on the computer again.
do you like anyone?
i'm madly in love with someone.
do you have a chance with them?
well i'm engaged to him, so i had better hope so :P
if you could move anywhere, where would it be?
hmm... well i'm thinking british columbia right now. or guelph, if i end up staying in ontario.
how old are your parents?
50 and 52.
what are you going to do after this?
browse facebook some more, talk to seth, go to bed.
how was your day?
relaxing, yet productive.
where are you right now, at this exact moment?
my tv room.
do you talk in your sleep?
i have before, but i don't think i have lately. you would have to ask seth.
do you like your life as of now?
i love my life as of right now!
what are you listening to?
the mummy on tv.
what happened at 9am today?
i was just getting out of bed.
what was the last thing someone bought you?
my mom bought me burrito boyz last night.
do you sleep a lot?
i sleep a normal amount?
what was the last thing you laughed really hard about?
i'm not sure.
how do you feel about your hair right now?
meh.
where's the last place you went besides your house?
shopper's drug mart.
if you were in a war, would you survive?
probably not lol.
where was your display picture taken?
at the steamwhistle brewery.
your relationship status?
engaged :)
have you ever lost a close friend?
not in terms of death, no. but otherwise, yes.
what's your mood right now?
bored, and wishing i didn't eat that klondike bar.
where do you wish you were right now?
with him.
do you have a crazy side?
everyone does!
ever had a near death experience?
ummm... no, i don't think so.
do you hate anyone?
nope.
what's stopping you from going for the person you like?
nothing, we're engaged.
when was the last time you cried?
last week.
is there anyone you would do anything for?
my mom, my grandma, my best friend, and of course seth.
who or what do you think about when you are falling asleep?
lots of things. usually very random and unimportant stuff.
who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
seth.
what is your favorite song?
hmmm, right now... "hey, ho" by the lumineers.
where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
seth gave it to me.
what colour is your cell?
white.
last thing you purchased?
shampoo, conditioner, and leave in conditioning spray.
describe your life in one word:
wonderful.
who are you thinking of right now?
him.
where did you last take a road trip to?
umm... i have no clue.
who was the last person that yelled at you?
probably my mom, but i can't remember.
what is your natural hair color?
a boring, ashy brown.
who was the last person to make you laugh?
jack haha.
who was the last person to make you sad?
myself.
is your hair curly or straight?
mostly straight.
been out of the country?
just recently, yes!
held hands with the opposite sex in the past 6 days?
nope.
do little things mean a lot to you?
very much so.
are you happy with life right now?
very!
are you currently jealous?
nope.
what jewelry are you currently wearing?
earrings, nose ring, feather necklace, engagement ring and my heart ring.
what were you doing last night?
nothing really.
have you ever broken someone's heart?
it's quite possible, but you would have to ask them.
is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
umm... perpetually, yes.
4/15/13
the boston bombing
i can totally understand the sympathy and mourning for those involved in the bombing in boston today. innocent lives were taken, and many were injured; this definitely calls for love and support for those involved.
however...
what about the hundreds of men, women, and children that are dying in syria and iraq?
i think it's disgusting that people are able to sympathize only with people who are in close proximity to them, or who are similar to themselves in some way.
not only this, but who really knows the reason behind this bombing? who's to say this isn't a government conspiracy? what if the person who planted the bombs was suffering from mental health issues?
perhaps the person who planted the bombs was coherent and in the right frame of mind. maybe it was intentional. maybe it was a terrorist attack.
either way, to condemn someone to hell (regardless of whether i believe there is a hell or not) is the total opposite of what we should be striving for. question everything. look for the reasons. capture the bigger picture.
however...
what about the hundreds of men, women, and children that are dying in syria and iraq?
i think it's disgusting that people are able to sympathize only with people who are in close proximity to them, or who are similar to themselves in some way.
not only this, but who really knows the reason behind this bombing? who's to say this isn't a government conspiracy? what if the person who planted the bombs was suffering from mental health issues?
perhaps the person who planted the bombs was coherent and in the right frame of mind. maybe it was intentional. maybe it was a terrorist attack.
either way, to condemn someone to hell (regardless of whether i believe there is a hell or not) is the total opposite of what we should be striving for. question everything. look for the reasons. capture the bigger picture.
4/12/13
keep calm and carry on
"i'd much rather be out kicking them in the shins, myself, but i grudgingly admit there is a time for everything. i just have to confess that i often long for the days when i was just a bitch on the net. it is much easier to be angry than it is to be assertive but not aggressive and fight for rights through the process than tearing down the existing before building the new.
there are many barn burners. there are several bridge builders. there are not enough barn builders."
there are many barn burners. there are several bridge builders. there are not enough barn builders."
3/9/13
amour-propre
95% average - dean's list, i'm comin' at ya!
it may only be college, but i'm proud of myself.
this only further proves to me that i CAN and WILL do great in university.
it may only be college, but i'm proud of myself.
this only further proves to me that i CAN and WILL do great in university.
3/2/13
2/28/13
wanderlust
lately, i have become increasingly anxious to travel. i grew up in brampton, surrounded by boring grey buildings and pollution, and over the years, my tolerance for it has dwindled. i've been feeling this incredible pull towards nature.
i want to swim in crystal blue waters.
i want to lay on the lush, forest floor and gaze up at thousand-year-old trees.
i want to stand under a beautiful waterfall.
i want to connect with the earth.
i can't wait to be finished my program, and save up money to travel! there are so many places to see, and life is too short to spend it in a drab city.
i want to swim in crystal blue waters.
i want to lay on the lush, forest floor and gaze up at thousand-year-old trees.
i want to stand under a beautiful waterfall.
i want to connect with the earth.
i can't wait to be finished my program, and save up money to travel! there are so many places to see, and life is too short to spend it in a drab city.
2/26/13
one
like a child
in oversized snow pants and oversized boots
belly up, i give my face to the sky
twinkling fragments of heaven spill from the stars
kissing my skin
awakening every tiny receptor to the cold
tingling and exploding under my flesh
reminding me of every breath
and i am whole
alive
in oversized snow pants and oversized boots
belly up, i give my face to the sky
twinkling fragments of heaven spill from the stars
kissing my skin
awakening every tiny receptor to the cold
tingling and exploding under my flesh
reminding me of every breath
and i am whole
alive
2/18/13
dreams
- adopt a vegan & gluten free diet
- get my degree in social work
- own a trailer that serves as a hot meal program for the homeless, on wheels
- adopt a child from a country with gender inequality
- become a foster parent
- volunteer in third world countries
to be continued.
- get my degree in social work
- own a trailer that serves as a hot meal program for the homeless, on wheels
- adopt a child from a country with gender inequality
- become a foster parent
- volunteer in third world countries
to be continued.
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