7/25/14

pressure

it's all just boiling underneath.

7/9/14

summertime sadness

- only one of my friends in brampton has made an effort to hang out with me. after over a year of living away from home, i guess i was silly to think anyone missed me.
- after applying to over approximately 70 jobs, i finally landed a part time position at pet valu. the store was sold to a new owner, who has cut my shifts down from 5 to 1 per week.
- i am $900 in my overdraft and literally have no money to do anything at all.
- i have gained back all of the weight i lost while working out with seth and more.
- my CD player AND my TV have stopped working properly, conveniently when i have no money at all to fix either.
- yet another one of my friends has decided to take off on me.


i realize i'm just feeding into my sadness, but i'm honestly having the worst summer of my entire life. i thought this summer would be amazing because i wasn't going to be in school like last summer, and i was so sure i would land a job instantly that would provide me with at least enough money to be able to do fun things this summer.

i just want to go to sleep and not wake up until it's time to go back to school.

6/2/14

torpent

i just don't care anymore.
i don't feel anything at all.

5/14/14

dysthymia

i wish i could feel something other than disappointment and loneliness.

5/12/14

dichotomy

i wish i knew what the fuck i wanted.

4/22/14

nothing

living away from home provided an extra reason as to why i never saw or talked to my "best friends". now that i'm home, i'm only reminded of how unimportant i am to them.

i'm so tired of being alone.
i'm so tired of reaching out to and doing things for others, only to be forgotten and left behind by almost everyone i care about.

at this point, i'd honestly rather be stressed out with homework.